I was looking forward to taking commissions from you, but I had to step back.
First of all, it’s hard to reconcile the 'empathetic Nature Girl' brand with this poem that openly brags about being a dismissive friend. Treating a ten-year relationship as 'rambles' you 'don’t care about' isn't deep writing - it’s just Main Character Syndrome masked as cruelty. As a fellow writer, you've really accomplished a new level of character irony based on your posts. You write that you miss these friends, yet also brag about your apparent qualities of empathy.
For someone seeking professional commissions, this kind of performative detachment is a major red flag. It feels less like poetry and more like a rushed Notes-app dump.
(P.S. You might want to proofread for basic errors like not capitalizing Google in your other posts if you want to be taken seriously as a writer. Also, you are is "you're," not "your.")
Now, this isn't to say that your writing doesn't have potential, but you should really consider these observations. I hope that this encourages some self-growth in your character and writing abilities.
On the assumption you aren't a bot set out into the wild to scrape people's work, It's astounding that you see a girl applying into college (so a young, teenaged girl) putting herself out there for the first time and decide that you should leave a tidy comment of thinly veiled criticism.
I'm not much of a writer, but I am a reader. And as a reader, I know nuance when I see some. It's possible to mourn a loss and look torwards the future, and you can see this in this poem (and I'm sure across my friend's page).
Before you find another teenager you decide you need to knock down a peg, pause and assess weather your dick measuring contest is worth it.
But who am I to talk? I mean, at the end of the day you get to decide what makes you feel big and strong.
PS: I'm sure I've made some grammar mistake somewhere. That's why we are on the reading and writing app: to learn.
I was looking forward to taking commissions from you, but I had to step back.
First of all, it’s hard to reconcile the 'empathetic Nature Girl' brand with this poem that openly brags about being a dismissive friend. Treating a ten-year relationship as 'rambles' you 'don’t care about' isn't deep writing - it’s just Main Character Syndrome masked as cruelty. As a fellow writer, you've really accomplished a new level of character irony based on your posts. You write that you miss these friends, yet also brag about your apparent qualities of empathy.
For someone seeking professional commissions, this kind of performative detachment is a major red flag. It feels less like poetry and more like a rushed Notes-app dump.
(P.S. You might want to proofread for basic errors like not capitalizing Google in your other posts if you want to be taken seriously as a writer. Also, you are is "you're," not "your.")
Now, this isn't to say that your writing doesn't have potential, but you should really consider these observations. I hope that this encourages some self-growth in your character and writing abilities.
Hey pal,
On the assumption you aren't a bot set out into the wild to scrape people's work, It's astounding that you see a girl applying into college (so a young, teenaged girl) putting herself out there for the first time and decide that you should leave a tidy comment of thinly veiled criticism.
I'm not much of a writer, but I am a reader. And as a reader, I know nuance when I see some. It's possible to mourn a loss and look torwards the future, and you can see this in this poem (and I'm sure across my friend's page).
Before you find another teenager you decide you need to knock down a peg, pause and assess weather your dick measuring contest is worth it.
But who am I to talk? I mean, at the end of the day you get to decide what makes you feel big and strong.
PS: I'm sure I've made some grammar mistake somewhere. That's why we are on the reading and writing app: to learn.